I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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