Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.