would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
