how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.