I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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