We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
