Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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