Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
