if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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