All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You can't motorboat a personality
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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