She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
do nipples grow back?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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