Duck Duck Cougar?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
