Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you had me at cake vodka
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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