I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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