she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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