i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
