Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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