so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
