she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash