U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
