Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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  (301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis
  Replies (6) Good night (1354) Bad night (448)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.

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  (248): I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out. http://tfl.nu/085c
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (2273)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND

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  (954): When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed. (1-954): RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND http://tfl.nu/q689
  Replies (23) Good night (686) Bad night (3096)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

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  (505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr
  Replies (37) Good night (4217) Bad night (568)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

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  (315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5
  Replies (56) Good night (5616) Bad night (869)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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  (712): I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga http://tfl.nu/ngoq
  Replies (10) Good night (4641) Bad night (1352)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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  (832): Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank. http://tfl.nu/gxu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5112) Bad night (1043)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

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  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (27) Good night (8608) Bad night (987)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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  (978): as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..." http://tfl.nu/w3wh
  Replies (17) Good night (5906) Bad night (1415)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.

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  (217): The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time. http://tfl.nu/mdb9
  Replies (105) Good night (1354) Bad night (6348)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...

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  (610): You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice... http://tfl.nu/x7so
  Replies (7) Good night (4210) Bad night (842)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys

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  (512): I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys http://tfl.nu/o25e
  Replies (10) Good night (2104) Bad night (855)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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  (+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o
  Replies (15) Good night (3548) Bad night (762)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"

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  (817): And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?" http://tfl.nu/ufhu
  Replies (5) Good night (1085) Bad night (313)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  i can't, we're worse now

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  (519): please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen (1-519): i can't, we're worse now http://tfl.nu/v8g3
  Replies (12) Good night (1286) Bad night (542)

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