You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
a bad idea.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.