Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  How do you jack off and text at the same time?

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  On my iPhone they have an app for that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7
  Replies (84) Good night (31760) Bad night (2053)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed. http://tfl.nu/26az
  Replies (35) Good night (3911) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit. http://tfl.nu/7g7j
  Replies (32) Good night (4049) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST. http://tfl.nu/nhyx
  Replies (20) Good night (3793) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (2958)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam! (1-330): is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar? http://tfl.nu/c4pf
  Replies (5) Good night (3981) Bad night (1316)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you. http://tfl.nu/qq0g
  Replies (15) Good night (2544) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe
  Replies (5) Good night (3052) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted http://tfl.nu/dgp6
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested http://tfl.nu/5edf
  Replies (4) Good night (1839) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back http://tfl.nu/xmyb
  Replies (8) Good night (555) Bad night (1457)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978. http://tfl.nu/6hzj
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times. http://tfl.nu/aihm
  Replies (0) Good night (722) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore. http://tfl.nu/2eq9
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier... http://tfl.nu/hw83
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (238)

Randomize