sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?