why didn't you poke me back
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.