And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me