I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.