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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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• (406): View more from Montana

  i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.

  Fav 13 2411 1097

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

  Fav 6 917 1158

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.

  Fav 12 2278 1368

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.

  Fav 2 790 513

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

  Fav 4 1624 586

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.

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