this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
