She announced her abortion via fbk
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
