having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
