Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
