Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
