We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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