ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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