I think my vagina is haunted
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
