happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
