No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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