so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
