textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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