That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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