my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
