Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
