U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize