And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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