I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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