they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Let's get the cat blown out
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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