i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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