Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
