I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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