That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize