Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
