I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize