I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize