i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
