I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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