Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
