Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
