i think my mom watched the whole time
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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