he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
