If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
