Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
