Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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