What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
