Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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