I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hippo gnu deer
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
