We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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