I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't deserve a penis
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
