She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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