So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
