Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
